Why Asking Your Child Why is so Frustrating

Have you ever asked your child why they did something?  This is a pretty common thing the older they get.  When you ask them this simple question what is their typical answer…..”I don’t know.”  This was probably one of the most frustrating things I experienced as a parent.  How do you not know why you did something?  You were the one there not me.

I am going to give you a simple quick tip to use and this is something I learned in one of my previous jobs.  Instead of asking why ask How come?  This is such a simple twist on your question and you will more than likely get a different response from your child.  I would do this often with my own daughter and you know what?  She would often then tell me how come she did something.  I would get an explanation other than her typical “I don’t know” response.  I would even do this right after asking her why and then remembering changing the question and it was an immediate response.

Try this tip and let me know how it works!

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Hi, I'm Amanda!

I help parents and teachers with tools and tips for working with children.  I live in Lone Tree, CO and I am a middle School Social Worker and an LCSW.


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